Back from Colorado. Have been for a couple of days. Realizing that Stl still has merit. I didnt think so two days ago. The boy and I had an amazing time for the week and a half I spent with him and his family. We cooked, ate out, found out new things about one another and just generally got along better than we have in the last two years. It was a very good thing.
There are lots of things that I hold dear to my heart, that make COlorado for me. The weather was absolutely gorgeous. I brought the sun with me and it stayed at above 20 for most of my vacation. One day before I was to leave, we got snow and I mean that dry lovely snow that comes down in huge flakes and lands ever so softly. It started out as a foggy morning then the shimmering rain started. It ends with the snow. The amazing part is it actually sticks! It didnt take more than four hours and there was 6 inches on the ground. That just amazes me. I was hoping to 'have' to stick around a little longer but Denver airport was very prepared. The climate also completely agrees with me. It takes me a week sometimes to feel normal when I get back to STL. The dryer air and elevation make me feel more energized. I get home and feel blah.
Of course the main thing that keeps me going back is the boy. He knows why. And nothing will ever change that.

except the loving children part.

months

OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.
Most of this applies to me...weird.

AHHHH!

Seven more days until Christmas.
Christmas = vacation = the boy.
I dont know if I can wait even that long.

family

So yesterday I laid around all day with a migraine. I just came off an amaing jury! I had to preform for the entire voice faculty for the first time as a performance major. I had to have eight pieces up to performance at the end of the semester. I came in with my choice of one, a German leider, and then the teachers picked two more. I did the best I could have done and have done all semester. I was happy with it and they all congradulated me profusely. I can know take on finals and all the little projects I have been putting off this semester. I need to spend some time with the family and take care of things that need to happen before christmas. I have exactly 13 days before I leave to see the boy for a couple of weeks! Colorado! Its going to be beautiful and I am going crazy waiting. But for now I have enough to keep me busy.

A highlight of this weekend was this morning I saw my 5 year old brothers Christmas pagent. He was in the innkeeper and even got to say a line. From backstage I hear a little voice say, "I did it! Yes!". It was the cutest thing since he was the donkey last year. (There's always an ass in the family.) We took lots of pictures and talked with people from our parish. It was a settling thing for me to do. Now all we have to get through is christmas shopping and cleaning and taking care of the actual big family dinner. This should be an interesting year.

My family is kind of strange in the way that we think that everyone knows what we need, when in actuality, no one is paying attention. My mother seems to think that I can fathom what all she needs to have done to make her feel better about the holidays. I unfortunately have no clue and have plenty on my plate to deal with already. Hence the fact that this is always an intersting time of year for my family. I hope that everything works out and I don't kill anyone before I leave.

semester

I am a music student. I am being trained as a classical vocalist. I have only three semesters left before I leave my little university for the real world of music. THIS IS THE SCARIEST THING EVER. I have had the crash abd burn semester of all my years of schooling put together. For the past fourteen weeks, I have put myself through hell. I have been sick with my migraines, stomach pains, and general feelings of crappiness. (plus a horrible case of strep throat!) Yet I do feel a sense of triumph that I have even made it this far. I have worked my ass off on every aspect of performing. Do I know what will happen when I leave the BM program? nope. I haven’t the faintest idea. I hope that I can get through all the challenges that I will face in my future.
Beginning new. That is the feeling that I need to conjure for the next semester. On the verge of burnout is not the way to have success. So I will take a breath, leave the past and concentrate on what is happening right now. Appreciating it for all it is worth!

costuming!

I have been working on getting costuming together for a fire performnce I have this weekend. Everything seems to be going swimmingly!!!

I am...

I am a woman and womyn.
I am a student of life.
I am an observer.
I am expressive.
I am emotional.
I am the music.
I am young.
I am nontraditional.
I am with others.
I am an old soul.
I am able to connect.
I am able to see.
I am able to be.
I am me.
I am a sister, daughter, grand daughter, friend, niece.
I am talented.
I am a performer.
I am intelligent.
I am motivated.
I am self sufficient.
I am self aware.
I am contrdictory.
I am raw.
I am realization.
I am an integral part.
I am common.
I am balanced.
I am grateful.
I am enriched by those around me.
I am kind.
I am loved.
I am worth something.
I am free.

so this is blogger...

I figured this was a start. I wanted a place to publish my thoughts. Movable type was a little advanced for a pseudo computer geek like me. Actually it was a little too much reading. Either way, this was easy and I could start recording my current life now.